Saying Goodbye to My Counselor

I’ve had a great relationship with my most recent counselor for over a year. She’s kind, patient, thoughtful, and good at setting boundaries (the last being something I’m apparently not). I’m not discontinuing because she isn’t great, but because of insurance issues (I recently found out that I can no longer be reimbursed for her services) and wanting to use my $ in a different way. Yes, it was a tough decision, and if my history weren’t riddled with money anxiety I may have made a different decision.

We just had our last session. She has called me a “verbal processor,” so in the spirit of getting something out of my head I’m writing this down. We talked about great things – about me continuing to learn to mother myself, my ongoing journey toward authenticity (quite different from the covert journey of perfection I'd traveled for so long), and the idea that I can consistently treat myself as “among those who are considered.” I’d love to sit and wax philosophical with any of you over a great glass of wine or hot cup o tea about all of that.

The reason I’m blogging about this is that she has helped me to evolve toward wholeness. And while letting go of the relationship with her makes me feel temporarily less whole (she really was a warm and caring support for me!), I can feel the evolution continue. We flitted occasionally on the topic of my YouTube channel as my “passion project,” and I shared with her today my desire to continue to share myself via video as a real person … all of my quirky warts and more, and to connect with your warts as we trudge toward our individual versions of greatness. Sometimes you have to breathe and let go to get more.